On Being a Girl Dad-3

My daughter, Azure, is a cookie monster.  She will eat anything sweet and sticky and gooey.  We have to hide cookies where we think she won't look and my wife limits what we buy for sweet snacks.  One night when she was about seven years old, I went up to tuck Azure in bed. It was a cold night and asked, "Are you wearing an undershirt with your pajamas? Azure didn't answer.  She had this impish grin on her face and she said nothing. On instinct,  I lifted her rim of her pajama top to reveal a Snicker bar that was taped to her tummy.  When I asked her why she had done this she replied, "Because I want to have candy bar dreams."  I removed the candy bar from the wrapper and re-taped the wrapper to her tummy, then said "Good night."

On Being A Girl Dad-2

Because I was not raised by my own parents, it's terribly important for me to be involved in my children's lives.  I want my girls to know that they can come to me and tell me anything. I give them flowers on Valentine's Day and I tell them they are beautiful.  Girls need to know they are beautiful and smart and clever and funny.  Hearing it from their father first is so very important.

On Being a Girl Dad-1

Fifteen years ago, when my wife and I were expecting our first child, we decided to find out the gender of the baby. It didn't really matter what kind of baby we would have. We just hoped that the baby would be healthy and happy and loved, but knowing the gender made shopping during the retail sales much easier.

I thought I didn't care either way, girl or boy, but when the doctor told us that our baby was a girl, I remember leaping out of my seat and jumping up and down and being just so happy.  I would be a girl dad.  I would learn to play dolls and I would love my little girl and teach her the importance of loving herself.

When Indigo was born, I could not believe how beautiful she was.  The doctor placed the baby on my wife's stomach and the baby moved around, almost in slow motion looking, following the voices she had heard throughout the gestation process.  I felt as if she looked for me and I put my face near hers and she seemed to say, 'So nice to put a face to the voice.' My heart filled with a love so great and so deep.  And so began the best role I have ever had, that of the father of two little girls.

The Importance of Career Day

I love Career Day events at high schools. I love the idea of telling students about the kinds of jobs they might not know exist. Of course, becoming a doctor, or lawyer or fire fighter are all admirable jobs, but when a professional describes that she is a plastic surgeon or that he is an entertainment attorney or that he investigates how a fire starts, it's a far more interesting and rewarding event for the students to hear.

On Friday, I attended Career Day at a local high school.  We had limited time and I wanted to tell the students of the various careers I've had: United States Navy  Sailor, Federal Correctional Officer in a federal prison, Security Guard on the Sony movie studio lot, Screenwriter, Poet, Author, Director, Lecturer, College Professor.  I wanted to tell them that all the jobs a person can have trains them for the job they will eventually have.  As a writer, I use all the experiences I have and save them for things I may write about.  When I am writing a particularly sad story, I draw from my youth.  When I am writing about a joyful time, I draw from my days in the Navy and the great feelings I get from the family I have now.

I pay attention to the things that others say to me and I use their emotions and characteristics as well.  All all the things I write help me with lectures and directing actors.  I've learned about safety and firefighting from the Navy and I learned to plan events and cut hair, as I did while a barber in the Navy. I loved sharing all of this with the students.

I encourage everyone to share what they do with others.  So many young people are trying to figure out what is available to them.  The world is changing and jobs are changing.  Help young people discover how they can create a rewarding career for themselves.

Networking

After relaxing wonderfully in the sun and on the beach during the Memorial Day weekend, I remembered that one of the most important things a writer can do isn't writing; it's networking to make sure the writer's work is being read by someone who can move the project forward.  I had two really good meetings this week regarding three projects and it was the idea of sitting down for coffee and talking with one person and taking a walk with another that gives me the comfort of knowing the working is moving forward.

We can all have great ideas and we can all possibly write an interesting story, but if no one knows about it, the work will not be produced.

So, write notes, email, invite people to coffee (or tea), share articles and stories, meet people at the gym.  Do whatever it takes to get your work into the right hands.

Needing Inspiration

Usually, I am working on more than one project at a time with the hope that at least one of the projects might get produced.  Currently, I am writing something that I think is really good, but it's the kind of story you can't pitch because far too often, people can't see the vision of the story unless it's already written.  Fair enough, so I just keep writing.  I've hit a block in the road and I need a bit of inspiration.  When I have a hard time writing, I turn to many a muse, but today's inspiration comes from good writing.  I turned to the pages of James Baldwin, a master of description and character development, and I read his words and found my way.  Thank you, Mr. Baldwin and his compelling story, If Beale Street Could Talk.

On Raising a Teenaged Daughter

The most interesting thing about having a teenage daughter is teaching her all the things I never had a chance to learn as a teen.  My daughter, Indigo, loves wearing oxford shoes.  She has a few colors and she wears one of the pairs every day.  In order to keep the shoes looking nice, I had to explain to Indigo about getting taps placed on her shoes because she started to wear down the heel.  Then, I had to teach her how to shine her shoes.  I wish someone had done the same for me when I was young, but I had to learn in the Navy.  Watching Indigo buff and shine her shoes brings the biggest smile to my face.